Note: this piece first appeared in the February 2009 issue of Clark Wellness ForkBytes.
“Hearing voices no one else can hear isn’t a good sign, even in the wizarding world.”
—J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter and The Chamber of Secrets
Welcome to February! We’ve all now had an entire month to get going on all those lofty New Year’s resolutions… or not. For many of us, February can be a less than upbeat month. If you already feel like you’re not where you want to be with your goals, that feeling can cause a cycle of negativity. You may even be hearing voices.
You know what I mean: that little voice in the back of your head (or sometimes a loud voice in the forefront of your thoughts!) that insists you’re doing it wrong, you’re not good enough, you’ll never achieve those elusive goals — whatever your particular voice says. This negative self-talk is frustrating and self-defeating, and it’s a huge barrier between you and your best self.
The good news is that there is an antidote for the verbal poison of negative self-talk. Below, I’ve shared my best tips for creating and using positive affirmations to combat that negative voice — gleaned from years of experience counseling on the subject. Read on for the scoop!
Conquering Negative Self-Talk
The best way to win an argument with your inner negative voice is to contradict it with positive affirmations. Simply saying a statement out loud that goes against what the negative voice is saying is incredibly effective and a huge confidence booster. The big trick is figuring out how to craft a meaningful affirmation that will work for you. Here’s how to get started!
1. Figure out what your “inner demon” is saying. Keep a little notebook with you for a day or two and jot down the exact wording your negative voice uses. Then, brainstorm ways to contradict exactly what that voice says. For example, if your negative voice says, “You’ll never be good enough,” begin with a simple, “I am good enough.”
2. Compliment where you feel less confident. Negative voices love to focus on the body parts, projects, and other aspects of life about which we feel the least secure. Zero in on those items for yourself and pay yourself a compliment related to that area.
3. Use positive language. By definition, negative self-talk uses negative language. When creating contradictory statements, use positive language to distance your affirmations from your negative voices. For example, instead of saying “I’m not fat,” try “I am a strong, healthy, vibrant woman; I am attractive and fit.”
Just as the negative voice may have convinced you of certain things by repeating itself, you can convince yourself the opposite is true through repetition, too. Affirmations can feel awkward at first, but the results are worth the effort. Keep in mind that your affirmations will probably need a little tweaking as you begin to use and fine-tune your choice of words. You’ll know you’ve hit the right note when you feel a strong reaction to the language you’ve chosen. Repeat your affirmation several times a day for maximum effect!
Well written article Isabel, with a very clever title and tag to the quote from Harry Potter! You are I are very much aligned in our approach to health. I am a Registered Nurse with 20+ years of experience promoting optimal lifestyle management. I work primarily with business leaders and executives, who in creating success within their corporations, do so at the expense of their own physical and emotional health and well-being. I provide one-on-one lifestyle coaching to create, with the client, an individualized health vision and daily strategy that will enhance their health and increase their success, both on a professional and personal level. I promote eliciting the relaxation response, eating healthfully, and routine physical activity, using a behavioral medicine approach. One area of interest is cognitive restructuring, which leads to positive self talk–hence my interest in your article! I also facilitate workshops for firms, organizations, and service groups, on a wide variety of health related topics.
On a personal note, I cooked at a vegetarian restaurant while in nursing school, which gave me a deep love and commitment to eating and cooking well. I have been teaching “heart healthy eating” for many years, have become involved with our local slow foods chapter, and continue to promote eating real food.
I will be in Washington DC in September. Would you be interested in getting together for lunch to meet and share ideas? Hope to hear from you!
Robin